Headache

My skull is strangling my mind again,
 the pressure aches and groans.
 Whoever thought that
 these petty little thoughts
 could be physically painful?
 I hold in my thoughts
 because you have problems too,
 and I don't want to
 make this all about me, you know?
 I see you, your worried smile,
 and I tell you "hey, it'll be fine."
 Of course it will,
 you can handle it, you're a tough
 person.
 But I can't help, I can't do anything for you,
 you're like a fish, drowning in vinegar behind
 a wall of glass.
 What then? What do I do when you're
 safe again, in a bowl of unfiltered water?
 So many times, you said the same
 to me.
 "Hey, it'll be fine." and you patted
 me on the head, and I put aside everything,
Just to make my face appear more bright.
Your family cares about you, I look up to you, these thoughts hurt.
 But how I can express it, when anything I do to show it,
only reveals the uselessness of ever asking me in the first place?
 Not like this, not where your heart and future is on the line.
 And I have to watch, passively,
 as you swim through hostile waters.