Phoenix Rendezvous

Fire rites: inner revolution on a binge

Parts of me have travelled through uncounted time and space

I feel.

I want to say what I mean.

And mean what I am feeling.

I’m trying.

No need to run outside for better seeing.

Or walk to nearby windows.

Staying here—the right place for being.

So Sartre said.

The more I leave it

The less I’m free

Search your heart and see,

We are not unwise to be reborn gradually.

The way to do is to be

(I’ve always felt that).

The way to be is to do

(That thought has plagued me too).

I’m sighing.

I’ve ordered and organized reality,

Too often simplifying

I thought the price right, buying

Letting it happen to life I once called sacred.

I’ve been lying.

It’s been harder than I thought to love prevent.

Am I fading?

Awareness haunts me, and simply utter chaos.

Today untamed, tomorrow unnamed.

Not really knowing if I am going

To a meeting between my other selves and i

Or to a soulless flying.

Phoenix Rendezvous?

Letting go is like this: fear and lying, faith and crying.

And bargaining, no denying.

Giving up puts backward parts of me behind,

Yielding a different mind,

Where brokenness is sane.

The pathfinder is pain.

Joyful revolution, the seductive gain,

Some say even cellular change.

That’s what we came here for.

Gods always ask us for more.

I am fading

Quenching colliding forces and hatching new self.

Composure never quite setting in.

Instead, my consciousness and being.

Grasping one another, flex and unbend,

With endless ends and new beginnings.

Fire rites: flames licking,

Transformation finds a home again.