The Facts In Fiction

"Live in the moment."  This age old wisdom has cautioned so many generations, made them aware of the dangers of getting lost in fantasies and worlds that trap us inside them, when in reality, it’s those worlds that are trapped between our neurons. That's hard to wrap your head around.

Then again, many of us know there are characters who have taught us more than real people have. I for one look up to Gandalf, Dumbledore, Oromis and so many other wise characters, with greater respect than I look up to the grand old men that left their mark on history. I admire Frodo, Harry and Eddard more than I admire Alexander The Great.

Their deeds, though not real, have guided me through life far too often.

I have read the lives of so many visionaries, martyrs and influential figures. The stuff they did is wonderful, exemplary and every bit worth the fame and respect they are given. But let’s face it, rarely are their experiences relatable. No, I know we're never gonna have to face renegade Jedi's and tyrannic rulers that live off dragons' hearts. We don't have to worry about curses and prophecies, Dark Lords and executions. More or less, we lead ordinary lives.

But we know these characters, perhaps better than we know ourselves. There's a level of closeness we don't share even in our admiration for real heroes. Most of us grew up with these characters, progressing through their stories in their worlds even as we marched through our own lives. Through the chapters we acquainted ourselves with their darkest secrets, their joys, their fears. We might read a lot about mighty deeds by brave commanders in the wars gone by, we might read about difficult decisions that men of steel took as they walked ahead in their lives. But we never got to know them. We only know about them, but don't entirely understand them.

Would you take advice more seriously from some stranger or someone you know well, like your mom? (Okay, apart from when you've not really screwed up.)

I know the struggles of my heroes. I know them so well, I often identify with them. And I learn from them. I try not to repeat any mistakes they made because I felt the pain they felt in the aftermath. I try to take in the good about them. Hey, I'm not saying you can't learn from the great of the past. But think about it, the Mahatma ate meat and lied/hid the truth about it and repented deeply. I read it, resolved to always be truthful and soon forgot. I admit it, this is my experience. On the other hand, I learnt many lessons about lies, friendship, trust and also the difference between right and wrong from what I've read, from what I've seen in those many worlds where I roam when I feel lost.

I've roamed The Shire, trekked up Amon Amarth, marched through Du Weldenvarden, experienced life on Berk. Hell, I even witnessed the greatest wizards' duel of all time. Small secret, I've also been to the Hundred-Acre-Wood.  All with the characters who I accompanied, who help me from their locked realms of fantasy and dreams, when I'm lost in my reality.

 

Phoenix Rendezvous

Fire rites: inner revolution on a binge

Parts of me have travelled through uncounted time and space

I feel.

I want to say what I mean.

And mean what I am feeling.

I’m trying.

No need to run outside for better seeing.

Or walk to nearby windows.

Staying here—the right place for being.

So Sartre said.

The more I leave it

The less I’m free

Search your heart and see,

We are not unwise to be reborn gradually.

The way to do is to be

(I’ve always felt that).

The way to be is to do

(That thought has plagued me too).

I’m sighing.

I’ve ordered and organized reality,

Too often simplifying

I thought the price right, buying

Letting it happen to life I once called sacred.

I’ve been lying.

It’s been harder than I thought to love prevent.

Am I fading?

Awareness haunts me, and simply utter chaos.

Today untamed, tomorrow unnamed.

Not really knowing if I am going

To a meeting between my other selves and i

Or to a soulless flying.

Phoenix Rendezvous?

Letting go is like this: fear and lying, faith and crying.

And bargaining, no denying.

Giving up puts backward parts of me behind,

Yielding a different mind,

Where brokenness is sane.

The pathfinder is pain.

Joyful revolution, the seductive gain,

Some say even cellular change.

That’s what we came here for.

Gods always ask us for more.

I am fading

Quenching colliding forces and hatching new self.

Composure never quite setting in.

Instead, my consciousness and being.

Grasping one another, flex and unbend,

With endless ends and new beginnings.

Fire rites: flames licking,

Transformation finds a home again.

A Life That Has Been..

The time in between passing out of high school and joining a college is like standing on the edge of the cliff, ready to jump. You know that there is water down below but you don’t know how far down it is or how choppy it is. It is at this very instant that the proverbial “life flashing by” occurs. The comforting thought of falling on solid ground while you were there now ceases to exist. It is replaced by the fear of the unknown. I now find myself at that same juncture. And yes, I do look back and reflect on the life that has been.

By far, it is the last 6 years that have made a huge difference to me. The first three of those 6 were spent in a place that I may never forget. I was in 7^th when I first came to Pune. At that time I didn’t know anything beyond what a 12 year old should know, but that first year there changed everything. Suddenly, I was open to all the things I never knew was possible for someone so young, and it was AWESOME. A lot of shit happened too but I’d rather like to keep it buried. 7^th passed soon and then came 8^th. Now this was when I found the best of friends. Together we thought we could win the world and nothing could change us. 8^th and 9^th were too good for words, full of pranks and football and fucking around a lot. We became such good friends that when I had to leave Pune after 9^th, I fought everyone who said it was for the best. At that time, you wouldn’t care for what was best as long as you were having fun, but in the end, parents have the final say, like they always do and thus I landed in Hyderabad at a time when no one would have considered moving. I was forced to join a special “IIT Training” tuition that gave me nightmares. And then there was school which was so frustrating that I convinced myself that I would end up a loner.

I tried to distance myself from everything. I was hostile to classmates, didn’t care for shit what they thought, bunked the iit classes and went gaming instead. I lied to more people that I would care to admit, but it felt GOOD. I was there fighting for what I felt was the right thing to do. Then the unexpected happened. I met 4 guys who turned it all around. I ended up having the best time of my life that year and even met D.  I’d like to think that I am very lucky to have bumped into K, S and D because let me tell you, you both crazy idiots have become a huge part of my life and I would never part with you.

11^th and 12^th are said to be the most important years of once life and that to us meant just one thing: “N”. it was in my mind nothing more than a factory that churned out IITians every year without fail. The timings were inhuman, atmosphere gruesome. It would come as no surprise that I HATE THAT PLACE. So bad that I wanted to run away (yet again) but I didn’t, because I had no chice, that much was certain. But as with DAV, this time too I met these few people. On reflection, it seemed natural because we were all chronic backbenchers and so had to have something common :P What followed next was another bond that I hope never breaks. Of all the people there, A, S and R were and continue to be my best friends. These two years have been a roller coaster but they made it worth it, from the inside jokes to the weekly football trips, every memory is like a diamond.

And now as I write this and soon going away, I look back and see what I thought was irreplaceable has been replaced. I never thought my time in Hyderabad would be more memorable than my time in Pune. And it is all thanks to the six people I hope I time would never steal from me. We may all go different ways in the next couple of months, but I feel sure that somehow, we will never be far away.

Hallowed be thy name

Hallowed be thy name is a song that is instantly recognized by anyone remotely familiar with Iron Maiden, and rightly so. It is an outstanding piece of art, a timeless classic. The music, which as we have come to expect of Maiden is mind blowing but the crown jewel of the song is its lyrics. Steve Harris can rightfully claim his place as one of the greatest songwriters with this being his masterpiece. The song describes the last thoughts going through the mind of a convict sentenced to death. What follows is a hauntingly beautiful account of those thoughts.

I'm waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime

 Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time

 'Cause at 5 o'clock they take me to the Gallows Pole

 The sands of time for me are running low

 When the priest comes to read me the last rites

 I take a look through the bars at the last sights

 Of a world that has gone very wrong for me

 Can it be that there's some sort of an error

 Hard to stop the surmounting terror

 Is it really the end not some crazy dream?

 Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming

 It's not easy to stop from screaming

 But words escape me when I try to speak

 Tears they flow but why am I crying?

 After all I am not afraid of dying

 Don't I believe that there never is an end?

 As the guards march me out to the courtyard

 Someone calls from a cell "God be with you"

 If there's a God then why has he let me die?

 As I walk all my life drifts before me

 And though the end is near I'm not sorry

 Catch my soul 'cause it's willing to fly away

 Mark my words believe my soul lives on

 Don't worry now that I have gone

 I've gone beyond to seek the truth

 When you know that your time is close at hand

 Maybe then you'll begin to understand

 Life down there is just a strange illusion

Writing

Expression of thought,

Under the light of what has been taught.

Writing isn't just the use of mere ink and a dried wrinkled paper

But it's a planned plot, plot of words

Which needs to win a battle,

Battle ?

Yes, battle of influencing people.

Clearing the blocked minds through unknown passage of time,

Detaining ruthless power of majority

When being truthful is the true nature of humanity.

Many seem to ignore, let go or simply laugh.

Those are people who cease to become something.

They believe in anything and utter the words of dumbing.

They need to realize that it's hard to jot those expressions.

Because writing resembles the unspoken speech of the silenced.

Courage

Some want to think hope is lost see me stand alone

 I can't do what others may want then I'll have no home

 So for now wave good-bye and leave your hands held high

 Hear this song of courage long into the night

 So for now wave good-bye and leave your hands held high

 Hear this song of courage long into the night

 And the wind will bear my cry to all who hope to fly

 Hear this song of courage ride into the night

 Battles are fought by those with the courage to believe

 They are won by those who find the heart

 Find a heart to share

 This heart that fills the soul will point the way to victory

 If there's a fight then I'll be there, I'll be there

 So for now wave good-bye, leave your hands held high

 Hear this song of courage long into the night

 And the wind will bear my cry to all who hope to fly

 Lift your wings up high my friend fearless to the end

 So for now wave good-bye, leave your hands held high

 Hear this song of courage ride into the night

An Ode To Dust

Playful, swaying without a wind
Here is fog - the mist, she sings,
To the winter chill she cling'd
And sang of rain which flew on wings

As it danced around and encircled
About my head as if mocking me -
"Look at thee, feet as if bridled
To the ground, no chance of being free!"

"I walk as I please, fair mist-
Be not mistaken as to my will
It can break the land or seal a rift
Quaking even as these words spill."

"Arisen out of change you are,
Womb of time that engulfs us
Transient and reaching far,
Why yet might you be callous?"

A laugh bittersweet, gilded gold
Greets my ears as might a blade
"Child of Earth, do you ask the old
Such questions that your mind made?"

"Indeed I swirl, daughter of Time-
And dominion mine is what never lasts,
Queen I am of the ever gray clime
The stage you know as what has passed."

"Never bland but only dusted strands
Is my cape, it flies behind me,
And as it sweeps o'er your lands,
My mother takes it where none can see."

"Only in your memory,
Fleeting though it seems,
That place remains nearly
Untouched, in your minds it gleams."

"Indeed, for certain, then
Said I in utter wonder (and disgust)
Thou art the Past and in your den,
Resides what once was never dust!"

"Your pardon, lady, I shan't stay
Longer any more for the present
Therefore, I say goodbye and go my way:
And perhaps meet again when I relent,"

"And let your cape brush over me,
When my willful feet will stand
One last time before you free
This wanderer from the dusty land."


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Think about it - Why are you afraid of death?